{"id":271,"date":"2011-02-06T16:57:57","date_gmt":"2011-02-06T16:57:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/?p=271"},"modified":"2011-02-08T01:46:03","modified_gmt":"2011-02-08T01:46:03","slug":"the-intolerance-of-tolerance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/?p=271","title":{"rendered":"The Intolerance of Tolerance"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\t\"\"<\/a>\n\t

Brussels Sprouts with Toasted Walnuts and Walnut Oil<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

As I drove Andrew to soccer practice tonight, he mumbled out loud as he noncommittedly read off billboards that we passed: Ralph\u2019s, Food For Less, etc.\u00a0 Soon he followed with Museum of Tolerance as we passed by it and suddenly he was engaged.<\/p>\n

\u201cDad, what does tolerance mean?\u201d he asked earnestly.<\/p>\n

I was a bit taken aback, since I knew he had been to the museum and I really thought it was something he should know.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I guess it means that you are willing to\u2026\u201d Suddenly, I was at a loss.\u00a0 I tried again.<\/p>\n

\u201cI suppose it means that one is\u2026 tolerant or,\u201d this was harder than I had imagined.\u00a0 \u201cHmm, it means that one is open or willing to accept something they don\u2019t understand.\u201d\u00a0 I concluded.<\/p>\n

\u201cLike gays,\u201d He stated.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, and like African Americans, Latinos, or Jews,\u201d I added.<\/p>\n

\u201cJews? African Americans?\u00a0 Why?\u201d he asked incredulously.<\/p>\n

I started to answer a bit sarcastically thinking it was so obvious, \u201cWell, African Americans have experienced all sorts of prejudice and don\u2019t forget slavery.\u00a0 Then, of course, there\u2019s Hitler with the Jews and\u2026\u201d I got cut off.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh yeah, I see what you mean,\u201d he said, but added, \u201cthen, I don\u2019t think I\u2019m tolerant.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course you are.\u00a0 You\u2019re very tolerant,\u201d I insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I don\u2019t think so.\u00a0 You see, dad, it seems to me that every time you say you\u2019re tolerant it\u2019s always connected to something you don\u2019t like or about someone who has something you think is weird.\u00a0 I don\u2019t feel that way at all about anybody.\u00a0 I like African Americans.\u00a0 I like Jews.\u00a0\u00a0 I like gays.\u00a0 Of course, I like Latinos. \u00a0So, you see, I\u2019m not tolerant of them.\u00a0 I don\u2019t need to be.\u00a0 I just really like them for who they are as people.\u201d<\/p>\n

His sincerity was compelling and he continued, \u201cThink about it dad.\u00a0 If you say that you are tolerant of African Americans, then it means you think there\u2019s something about them that needs tolerating.\u00a0 If you say you tolerate gays, you are really saying that they are different from you in a weird way that makes you have to find some niceness in your heart to accept them.\u201d<\/p>\n

He stopped talking for a moment, sat in thought, and then concluded, \u201cReally dad, it\u2019s bad to have to tolerate something.\u00a0 Think about it.\u00a0 I tolerate hot weather.\u00a0 Hot weather bothers me, but I endure it.\u00a0 I tolerate your singing in the car, but only to get along, not because I like it.\u00a0 Oh, and because I need you to take me places.\u201d He ended that thought with a chuckle.<\/p>\n

I was dumbstruck.\u00a0 He was making sense.\u00a0 I just looked at him and felt a tug at my heart as he continued.<\/p>\n

\u201cReally Dad, if you say you are tolerant of something, then you really are just prejudice.\u00a0 It\u2019s almost like you can\u2019t be tolerant without first finding something that you are intolerant of.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to be tolerant.\u00a0 I just want to like people as they are.\u201d<\/p>\n

We had arrived at practice and as he jumped out of the car, he laughed and said, \u201c I think they should have an Intolerance of Tolerance Museum<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 And off he went.<\/p>\n

As I drove home, I thought a lot about what Andrew had said. \u00a0It had an impact on me that I hadn\u2019t expected and I found myself getting choked up by his candor and innocence.\u00a0 I had been on the verge of tears twice already today.\u00a0 As a principal, I am often privy to the pain and suffering that goes on in the lives of my students and their families.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Today brought two heart breaking cases. One was a case of a very broken family that had left the child virtually motherless.\u00a0 The other was the brokenness of the soul that comes when a tender heart is bullied to the breaking point.\u00a0 Their stories and their broken state had broken my heart and I was still tender.<\/p>\n

This last conversation with Andrew was just too much.\u00a0 I knew that I needed to recapture this conversation and I grabbed the dog and took off on a walk to gather my thoughts.\u00a0 As I played the conversation over in my head the whole day came flooding through and I just had to let it out.\u00a0 As I walked, I cried for the boys I had sat with earlier.\u00a0 I cried for the injustices they and so many kids face.\u00a0 I cried because these boys face a world that is so cruelly intolerant and often so insidiously tolerant.<\/p>\n

But mostly, I cried for my son\u2019s sincerity and innocence.\u00a0 I had the startling realization that in the five years we have been together I couldn\u2019t remember one time that he has ever said anything bad about any person because of whom or how they were.\u00a0 I remembered once feeling the same.<\/p>\n

Tonight Andrew\u2019s discussion hit me like an epiphany out of a Flannery O\u2019Connor novel:\u00a0 My life is full of too much tolerance and not enough love.<\/p>\n

I want to live in Andrew\u2019s world, where love reigns and tolerance doesn\u2019t need to exist.<\/p>\n

_________________________________________<\/p>\n

\n

\n\t\"\"<\/a>\n\t

Brussels Sprouts with Toasted Walnuts and Walnut Oil<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

This recipe is a perfect example of Andrew\u2019s lesson on tolerance.\u00a0 For years, I only tolerated Brussels sprouts.\u00a0 I would endure them well enough at a dinner party and occasionally would even try them out at home.\u00a0 (You see, many of my best friends are Brussels sprouts.)\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I was at a wonderful Los Angeles restaurant, A.O.C., where I thought I would be forced to tolerate them because of the meant-to-be- shared small plates.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what they did, but one taste of their sprouts and I was converted. \u00a0Suddenly, I couldn\u2019t get enough of them.\u00a0 In fact, I don\u2019t tolerate them anymore, I love them.<\/p>\n

I developed this recipe after a trip to the farmers\u2019 market where I was turned on to fresh walnut oil.\u00a0 You should not be without this staple in your fridge.\u00a0 This is Andrew\u2019s favorite vegetable dish.\u00a0 Mine too.<\/p>\n

Serves 4 to 6 normal people, but two if one is Andrew.<\/p>\n

1 pound Brussels sprouts, cut in halves<\/p>\n

2 tablespoons olive oil<\/p>\n

3 to 4 garlic cloves, finely chopped<\/p>\n

\u00bd cup walnut halves or pieces<\/p>\n

\u00bd to 1 cup chicken or vegetable stock<\/p>\n

2 or 3 tablespoons walnut oil<\/p>\n

A few good grindings of pepper, about \u00bd teaspoon<\/p>\n

Sea salt to taste<\/p>\n

Heat the olive oil in a pan large enough to hold the sprouts in one layer over medium-high heat.\u00a0 Try to place most of the sprouts cut side down (but don\u2019t drive your self crazy trying to) and sear them until they start to brown.\u00a0 Use a spatula to flip them to the other side and saut\u00e9 a few minutes longer to brown a bit.\u00a0 You may need a bit more oil; drizzle as needed. Add the garlic, pepper, and just a pinch of salt and saut\u00e9 for a minute or two, but don\u2019t let the garlic brown. \u00a0Add the stock and bring to a boil, lower the heat to medium and cook until the stock is not quite absorbed.\u00a0 It will be almost syrupy.<\/p>\n

While the sprouts cook, toast the walnuts in a 400-degree oven for about 10 to 15 minutes, checking regularly to ensure they don\u2019t burn, or alternatively toast them in a pan over a medium flame. When done, roughly chop them up.<\/p>\n

You will have to judge when the sprouts are done for yourself.\u00a0 If you like them firm, stop them earlier.\u00a0 We like them a bit soft and juicy.\u00a0 Regardless, take them off the heat, drizzle the walnut oil over them, and stir in the toasted walnuts.\u00a0\u00a0 Season with more sea salt and pepper to taste.<\/p>\n

Provecho!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As I drove Andrew to soccer practice tonight, he mumbled out loud as he noncommittedly read off billboards that we passed: Ralph\u2019s, Food For Less, etc.\u00a0 Soon he followed with Museum of Tolerance as we passed by it and suddenly he was engaged. \u201cDad, what does tolerance mean?\u201d he asked earnestly. I was a bit […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-271","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-recipes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/271","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=271"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/271\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":281,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/271\/revisions\/281"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=271"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=271"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=271"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}