{"id":305,"date":"2011-02-12T05:06:59","date_gmt":"2011-02-12T05:06:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/?p=305"},"modified":"2011-02-12T21:21:49","modified_gmt":"2011-02-12T21:21:49","slug":"305","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/?p=305","title":{"rendered":"From Heartache to Hero"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Huevos Rancheros: Andrew's Comfort Food <\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u201cWhether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life,<\/em><\/p>\n

or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

–David Copperfield<\/em>, by Charles Dickens<\/p>\n

We have a great capacity for retaining the memory of physical pain and it helps us avoid many future mishaps.\u00a0 Touch a hot stove and you will have a memory of pain seared into your conscience that will keep you from touching it ever again.\u00a0 However, when it comes to the pain that is experienced with the heart, our memories eventually fade which opens us up to the possibility of being hurt again.<\/p>\n

In part, it\u2019s this \u201clack of memory\u201d for emotional pain that gives us our humanity.\u00a0 Without forgetting our heartaches, how could we ever love after our first broken heart?\u00a0 Would we ever get a second dog if we remembered the agony of the puppy stage or the sorrow of putting a beloved one down?\u00a0 Could a mother every have another baby if she only remembered the loss of a stillbirth?\u00a0 However, this forgetting can only be accomplished after we allow ourselves to experience the memory at its most painful and this is what we call grief. <\/em><\/p>\n

The moment of healing starts at the flashpoint of our pain.\u00a0 What triggers that emotional nuclear catalyst is different for every person.\u00a0\u00a0 Months after I had lost three grandparents in a very short time, it was the sight my 14-year-old dog hobbling down the hall, tail wagging, to sit by me as I tied my shoes that started a torrent of tears that lasted throughout the day.\u00a0 For others it could be a song, a holiday, even a smell that brings the wall of grief down upon them.\u00a0 For Andrew, it was Star Wars.<\/p>\n

It didn\u2019t happen right away.\u00a0 Andrew didn\u2019t cry at his mother\u2019s funeral or in the days that followed.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t cry when his uncles wouldn\u2019t take him in.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t even cry when he got hurt or in trouble.\u00a0 He did scream and get angry, but no tears were shed for over a year.<\/p>\n

After I took him home and his life started to have routine and structure, I knew that I needed to help him deal with his loss.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m not an expert in psychology, but I know children\u2019s literature.\u00a0 And in almost all great children\u2019s stories the parents always die.\u00a0 I started to read him books and show him movies with this universal theme of orphaned children overcoming tragic beginnings and going on to accomplish great things: James And The Giant Peach, Wizard of Oz, The Hobbit, The Secret Garden, Ann of Green Gables, and of course, Harry Potter, and many more.<\/p>\n

When I wasn\u2019t reading to Andrew, we were watching movies.\u00a0 Star Wars was his favorite, so we decided to watch all six.\u00a0 For days we were wrapped up in Luc and Yoda.\u00a0 Models were made, Legos constructed, and many drawings of spaceships were given to me for approval.\u00a0 After each movie, Andrew would sit and let the credits run as he basked in the music before it was time for bed.<\/p>\n

On the night we watched the last in the series, we were cuddled on the couch and Andrew was riveted as the final battle ensued.\u00a0 Right before the movie ended, Darth Vador revealed his true identity as Luc\u2019s father and finding his last remaining bit of humanity saved his son and killed the dark lord.\u00a0\u00a0 This time as the credits rolled, Andrew jumped up, turned the TV off, and sat down on the couch.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s the matter, Andrew?\u201d\u00a0 I asked, never suspecting what was about to happen.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was a sad movie.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know, that was really sad,\u201d I agreed.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt reminds me of my mom,\u201d he said as his wall of grief came crashing down around him.<\/p>\n

The only other words he said, barely audible through the tears, were \u201cI miss my mom.\u201d<\/p>\n

All I could do was hold him.<\/p>\n

After an hour of crying in my arms, I picked him up and carried him to his bed.\u00a0 Our Labrador puppy, Truman, in one of his more sensitive moments jumped on the bed next to him.\u00a0 Andrew threw his arms around him and held on tight as the tears began to flow again for more than another hour.\u00a0 For the next six months Andrew would burst into tears at random moments, and all I could do was hold him until it was over.\u00a0 Grief eventually does fade and Andrew\u2019s suffering was no exception.\u00a0 His emotional meltdowns eventually ended.<\/p>\n

I remember the last time he cried.\u00a0 We were in the car and I was a bit surprised, as I hadn\u2019t heard him cry for some time.\u00a0\u00a0 I rubbed his shoulder and asked him if he was missing his mother.\u00a0 His answer broke my heart.<\/p>\n

\u201cI do miss her,\u201d he said, \u201cbut that\u2019s not why I\u2019m crying.\u00a0 I\u2019m crying because I can\u2019t remember what she looks like.\u201d<\/p>\n

I worried about my son, but a few months later I knew he was going to be all right.\u00a0 He was lying on the couch, cuddled under a blanket, while I was reading to him from an abridged version of Dickens\u2019 David Copperfield when he suddenly stopped me.<\/p>\n

\u201cDad!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is it Andrew?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know what? This story is just like my life,\u201d he said in amazement.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re right.\u00a0 You know what else?\u00a0 Many of the books and movies we have read are similar to your life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike which ones?\u201d he asked sitting up.<\/p>\n

I listed a quick dozen or more of the books we had read and asked him, \u201cDo you know what all these books had in common?\u201d<\/p>\n

He had to think a bit, but eventually he came up with, \u201cAll the kids\u2019 parents died and they were orphaned just like me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s right, Andrew.\u00a0 Do you know what else they all had in common?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHmmm, I \u2018m not sure,\u201d came his reply.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, what happened to all the boys and girls at the end of those stories?\u201d<\/p>\n

Again he had to think, but with the beginnings of an understanding of his own potential he cautiously asked, \u201cthey all became heroes?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 They all overcome tremendous tragedy, have great adventures, and eventually become heroes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes that mean I can become a hero?\u201d he asked with all the hope and sincerity of a 10 year old.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s exactly what it means,\u201d I said, \u201cyou will have many adventures as you grow up and you may have to kill a few more dragons, but you will be a hero.\u201d<\/p>\n

For me, he already is.<\/p>\n

_____________________________________________________<\/p>\n

\n

\n\t\"\"<\/a>\n\t

Huevos Rancheros with Mom's Salsa<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Andrew\u2019s mother didn\u2019t have the time nor the means to create elaborate meals for him.\u00a0 In fact, the only meal provided by his mother beyond fast food that Andrew has ever mentioned is fried tortillas topped with fried eggs and salsa.\u00a0 I recently asked Andrew about other food memories and he could only come up with ramen, spaghetti \u201co\u201ds, and canned chicken noodle soup.\u00a0 \u201cShe didn\u2019t cook much,\u201d he added.\u00a0 It\u2019s no wonder that this became his comfort food in the months after her death.\u00a0 Andrew asked me to make this for him from the first week I had him and he meticulously directed me on how to make it until I got it just like his mom\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Although Andrew\u2019s mom tore up the tortilla before frying it, I realized what she had made for him was simply Huevos Rancheros, a Mexican peasant dish of fried tortilla, topped with fried eggs, smothered in a tomato-based ranchero salsa and sprinkled with cheese.\u00a0 You can find many elaborate variations at restaurants and on the Internet, but this one is the real deal.\u00a0 If you have fresh eggs, fresh tortillas, and a good homemade ranchero style salsa, this is a dish where simplicity wins.\u00a0 What makes one Huevos Rancheros special or different from another is the quality of the Ranhero sauce that is used. (For a killer ranchero sauce, see my Fighting Fire with Fire, Feb.10, 2011)<\/p>\n

\n\t\"\"<\/a>\n\t

Mom's Salsa<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Each serving will include:<\/p>\n

A corn tortilla (extra for scooping)<\/p>\n

olive oil or lard<\/p>\n

1 or 2 eggs cooked sunny side up<\/p>\n

Ranchero sauce to taste (See recipe in Fighting Fire with Fire, Feb. 10, 2011)<\/p>\n

A hard Mexican cheese like Cotija or Queso Fresco (Jack or Cheddar are nice too, but not traditional)<\/p>\n

Salt and pepper to taste<\/p>\n

Mexican Creme: “crema Mexicana” is the Mexican version of creme fraiche. \u00a0Sour cream is the American distant cousin.<\/p>\n

In a skillet, heat up the oil and fry the the tortillas until lightly browned. Keep them warm in the oven until ready to use. \u00a0 Next fry the eggs in the same skillet, adding more oil if needed. \u00a0Salt and pepper the eggs as they fry.<\/p>\n

Place one tortilla on each plate, cover with one or two eggs.<\/p>\n

Put about a cup of the salsa(or more depending on how many your are serving) \u00a0in the same pan and quickly heat it up. \u00a0It will sputter a bit. \u00a0Pour the salsa over the eggs, sprinkle on some cheese and the sour cream if you are using it. \u00a0Serve immediately.<\/p>\n

Provecho!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cWhether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show.\u201d –David Copperfield, by Charles Dickens We have a great capacity for retaining the memory of physical pain and it helps us avoid many future mishaps.\u00a0 Touch a hot […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-305","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-recipes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/305","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=305"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/305\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":313,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/305\/revisions\/313"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=305"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=305"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=305"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}