![\"\"](\"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/02\/IMG_5071.jpg\" "\\"IMG_5071\\"")
<\/a>\n\tGrandma Bea's Chicken and Rice Soup <\/p>\n<\/div>\n
With a huge drop in the barometric pressure, a sudden shift to strong winds from the arctic north, and unusually dark and somber cumulonimbus lowering a torrential boom on Los Angeles, I instinctively knew, as we drove home to start our weekend, what Andrew was thinking:\u00a0 It\u2019s a good night for killing zombies, Xbox style. \u00a0I, on the other hand, was thinking Chicken and Rice Vegetable Soup.\u00a0 Believe it or not, they are very closely related thoughts.\u00a0 You see, zombies have been on our minds a lot lately.<\/p>\n
Over the last five years there have been a couple of constants in getting to know and understand Andrew.\u00a0 One of these is his frequent cinema graphic zombie nightmares.\u00a0 Andrew has had these reoccurring dreams of zombie attacks since his mother\u2019s death.\u00a0 I got initiated into his dream world the very first Friday I brought him home five years ago.\u00a0\u00a0 At some point many hours after I put him and myself to bed, a terrified strange boy standing at the side of my bed awakened me.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure my \u201cHitchcockian\u201d screams, which gradually subsided with recognition, didn\u2019t help alleviate his fears that night.\u00a0 Still, he crawled into my bed, told me his dream, and was fast asleep.\u00a0 I, on the other hand, was the one now immobilized by a night terror of the gravity of my decision to become a dad.<\/p>\n
The other constant has been Andrew testing me and every adult in his life to the breaking point.\u00a0 The \u201ctests\u201d can easily be classified under defiance.\u00a0 Major or minor, they usually involve some form of doing the opposite of what is asked of him.\u00a0 During the early years I was put to the test multiple times a day, but my maniacal attention to structure, rules, and consequences eventually wore his psyche down; the behaviors subsided and our home life became bliss.<\/p>\n
The problem was that he continued to test the rest of the adults in his life: grandparents, aunts, uncles, close friends, teachers, and Scoutmasters.\u00a0 These incidents always meant a \u201ckindly chat of concern\u201d and heaps of unsolicited advice on what I should do to fix the problem.<\/p>\n
Fortunately, both the defiance and the zombie dreams have dramatically decreased.\u00a0 So much so that I was shocked to be pulled aside by one of the parents on our soccer team last week for the dreaded \u201cfrom one dad to another talk.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Turns out that Andrew had been very disrespectful to the coach.\u00a0 I was mortified and livid.\u00a0 I marched Andrew over to make an apology and to my chagrin the coach was completely nonplused by the whole thing.\u00a0 In fact, he had taken a keen interest in Andrew and assured me that he would have Andrew leading the boys by the end of the All Star season.\u00a0 I was in shock at how he handled the situation and even wished for a bit of his Zen power.\u00a0 It was the first time in a while that an adult had attempted to create a bond with Andrew.<\/p>\n
That night Andrew had a horrific zombie dream, the first in a long time.\u00a0 The next morning as we drove to school, Andrew told me his dream and I had an epiphany.\u00a0 I cautiously asked him if I could interpret his dream.\u00a0 He assented and I presented him my observation.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen your mother died,\u201d I started, \u201cyou experienced a loss that most people don\u2019t experience until much later in life.\u00a0\u00a0 The pain you felt was so great that your sub-conscience decided that it never wanted to go through it again.\u00a0\u00a0 In the world of psychology it\u2019s considered a fear of being abandoned.\u201d<\/p>\n
I glanced over at him and saw he hadn\u2019t glazed over yet.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat kids do when they have experienced this kind of pain is to test all the adults in their life by behaving very badly.\u00a0 You see, if you can treat a person horribly over and over and they still love you, then your subconscious can finally trust that they will really be there for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Another glance sideways proved he was still with me.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou have been treating everybody in your life as a potential zombie.\u00a0 A living, breathing being that can cause you great pain because they can die, just like your mom.\u00a0 And every time you get in trouble for treating an adult badly, you have a zombie dream.\u00a0 It\u2019s your mind\u2019s attempt to work out whether or not this new person in your life is going to cause you pain or not.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s very interesting,\u201d Andrew sincerely replied.<\/p>\n
\u201cLast night you got in trouble for disrespecting your coach, a man who has treated you with continual respect, even after your bad behavior.\u00a0 Last night you also had a zombie dream that even included your soccer team.\u201d\u00a0 I could see the light going on in his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not saying that all people are worthy of your trust, but perhaps it\u2019s time to trust that most people aren\u2019t zombies unless they give you reason to believe otherwise.\u00a0 I think you should let your coach off the hook and see where this goes before you go in for the next kill.\u201d\u00a0 Andrew smiled to himself and I knew enough to stop talking.<\/p>\n
And the chicken and rice soup?\u00a0 Well, I realize that coming home everyday, no matter how tired I am or how badly Andrew has behaved, and slow cooking a well-prepared meal has been my super power against turning into a zombie.\u00a0 It\u2019s my unique way of saying I love you and will be there for you no matter what.<\/p>\n
As I worked away in the kitchen last night and heard the sounds of successful zombie attacks coming from the television room, I had an even bigger epiphany.\u00a0 Until I met Andrew, I was only partially alive.\u00a0 He had every right to test me and make me prove I wasn\u2019t infected with a zombie virus.\u00a0 Perhaps I was, but my son, the zombie killer, took care of that and because of him I\u2019m more alive today than ever before.<\/p>\n
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