![\"\"](\"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/IMG_4006.jpg\" "\\"IMG_4006\\"")
<\/a>\n\tGetting ready for summer with Limoncello <\/p>\n<\/div>\n
I am sure the human race would have died out long ago if our forebears hadn\u2019t discovered the pleasures of fermentation.\u00a0\u00a0 There\u2019s no doubt that Andrew has been saved by the clink of a glass on more than one occasion.\u00a0\u00a0 Still, alcohol can be a very complicated subject in relationship to raising children.\u00a0 It really is a major case of \u201cdo as I say and not as I do.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 If you are a drinking parent, you understand how important it is to figure out how to sip a glass of wine out of one side of your mouth, all the while telling your child not to drink out of the other.<\/p>\n
Andrew had only been with me a couple of months when he asked me about my glass of wine.\u00a0 I had already given it some thought and I had decided to take the approach my parents had with us, which was to let us take a sip if we ever asked about it. My intention was to demystify it in the hope that it would defuse the rebel urge to be sneaky about it later on.\u00a0 So when Andrew asked me what it tasted like, I offered him a sip.<\/p>\n
He took the glass, held it to the light and gazed at it like a connoisseur standing at the counter of a Napa Valley winery.\u00a0 I think I was both mortified and awestruck by the power of example as I watched him lift the glass to his nose taking in a long and protracted sniff and then nimbly work his way through his first sip, swish, and swallow.<\/p>\n
He looked up and said, \u201cIt\u2019s like a bunch of flavors are bursting all around my mouth.\u00a0 I like it.\u201d<\/p>\n
This was not the reaction I had been expecting or wanted.<\/p>\n
A few days later he asked for another sip and I allowed him to try it again.\u00a0 I had poured a much drier and less fruit forward glass of wine and could see it didn\u2019t go down as well as the first.\u00a0 He said he liked it, but this time I could tell byt the raised eyebrows and srcunching and pursing of lips that he wasn\u2019t convinced that this was a kid friendly drink after all.\u00a0 Gratefully, I didn\u2019t hear any more about it for a while.<\/p>\n
That was until a few months later when we were sitting around a table dining with friends.\u00a0 As the wine was being served, Andrew perked up with a renewed interest in fermented grape juice.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan I have some wine?\u201d he inquired quite boldly.<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course, you can\u2019t have any wine.\u201d I sternly answered him.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy not?\u00a0 You ALWAYS let me have wine at home!\u201d He emphatically and loudly stated from across the room where the kids had been seated.<\/p>\n
All adult eyes suddenly fell on me and I could almost hear the sirens coming to take me away.\u00a0 I did my best to explain the situation and silently vowed to do a better job at explaining table manners and jail sentences to Andrew after dinner.<\/p>\n
Luckily, a few sips was enough to calm his curiosity and even though Andrew hasn\u2019t shown any interest in sipping wine over the last few years, I continue to allow him a small indulgence if he asks.\u00a0 However, as I approach the high school years, I know that an occasional sip at the dinner table will be no match for the offers of full communion that will surely come his way.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a funny and seemingly arbitrary line we draw in the sand with our children.\u00a0 Andrew will be of legal age in only seven years.\u00a0 From one night to the next, I will go from \u201cjust say no\u201d to \u201ccheers.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Yet, my ability or inability to help Andrew stay dry through the next seven years can have life long consequences and that is something that can drive me to drink!<\/p>\n
I came up with a plan.\u00a0 It\u2019s simple enough.\u00a0 I just decided to tell him the truth.\u00a0 All of it.\u00a0\u00a0 You see, as a country, we have spent a great deal of time telling kids how bad drugs and alcohol are.\u00a0\u00a0 We explain about DUI\u2019s, overdoses, fatal crashes, eternal damnation, and being grounded until college. \u00a0Of course, I too, have spent much time explaining the evils of alhohol and it’s abuse. \u00a0What we fail to explain is that it makes us feel good, tastes good, and that intoxication is fun.\u00a0 For some reason, we have decided to let our children\u2019s friends tell them for us.\u00a0\u00a0 Guess who comes across as being the most reliable source of information?\u00a0\u00a0 Here\u2019s a hint: \u00a0Many kids try drugs and alcohol and since the likelihood that they will survive this teenage curiosity without reaping the dire rewards we promised is pretty high, it won\u2019t be us.<\/p>\n
Basically, my strategy is a \u201cDo you want the good news or the bad news?\u201d approach.\u00a0 The talk I have had with Andrew on many occasions goes something like this: \u201cThe good news is alcohol makes you feel good and can be fun.\u00a0 Even better, the law says you get to drink it at twenty-one, and I\u2019ll buy you your first drink on your 21st<\/sup> birthday (he\u2019s still just young enough to think that\u2019s cool).\u00a0 The bad news is that alcohol is a poison and it takes an adult body and liver to process it properly.\u00a0\u00a0 Your body and brain (specifically the frontal lobes) are still growing and really vulnerable to being damaged by alcohol and drugs.\u00a0 They will continue to develop until you\u2019re about 21 years old.\u00a0 Kids do drink and some of them don\u2019t see the negative effects right away, but too many do and I just want to make sure you have every advantage for a successful life.\u201d<\/p>\n And, of course, \u201cYou will be grounded until college!\u201d<\/p>\n My hope is that I build credibility by being truthful.\u00a0 When he\u2019s at that party a few years from now and everybody is drinking and having fun, I want my voice to be forefront in his underdeveloped frontal lobe reminding him that I told him it would be this way and to hold off for his own good.\u00a0\u00a0 It may not be enough and I\u2019ll cross that bridge if, and when, we get there, but for now I\u2019m keeping the lines of communication open, sticking with the truth, and hoping it\u2019s enough.<\/p>\n If not, I can always fall back on plan B: grounding until graduation<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ______________________________________________________________<\/p>\n