{"id":832,"date":"2011-11-25T21:01:14","date_gmt":"2011-11-25T21:01:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/?p=832"},"modified":"2011-11-25T21:01:14","modified_gmt":"2011-11-25T21:01:14","slug":"crime-and-punishment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/?p=832","title":{"rendered":"Crime and Punishment"},"content":{"rendered":"

If he has a conscience he will suffer for his mistake. That will be punishment – as well as the prison.
\nFyodor dostoevsky<\/strong><\/p>\n

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\n
\"\"<\/a><\/dt>\n
Buttermilk biscuits hot out of the oven!<\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n<\/div>\n

The screams would usually start long after school had begun.\u00a0 These were not garden-variety screams, the kind you might expect to hear from the would-be heroin of a B horror film.\u00a0 These were guttural and low, like a trapped wild animal tortured by its captor.\u00a0 The devastating sadness that emanated from the front of the school office each morning engendered the kind of empathetic breaking of one\u2019s heart the way a late night infomercial can do with images of starving children or abused animals<\/p>\n

As you entered the office, the hall was long and narrow with a counter on your right and a wall on your left that ran from the school\u2019s front door to a secondary entrance into the main hallway. It was an anti-chamber that ensured some prescreening of individuals who wanted to come into the school.\u00a0 These screams, however, were not from someone trying to get in to the school, but Andrew trying desperately to stay out.<\/p>\n

Long before the sounds of agony would reach my back office, Andrew would have been locked into a battle of oppositional defiance with his uncle that started hours before in their apartment and continued through the streets on the way to school.<\/p>\n

By the time they would get him to the front of the school, Andrew was so agitated that he would burst through the doors with the snarling cries of a wild animal backed into a corner with nothing left to do but fight or die.\u00a0 He knew that someone still had to get him down the narrow passage before the fight would be over and his last move had to count.\u00a0 Lunging at his uncle and grabbing at the walls, he would start to rise in the air.<\/p>\n

Seeming to levitate like a scene out of the Exorcist, Andrew would hover three feet off the ground in an act of defiance that betrayed the laws of nature.\u00a0 He pulled off this sleight of hand by wedging his slender frame between the front counter and the wall.\u00a0 Grasping blindly to secure a stronghold on the countertop, he pushed his left foot against the opposing wall.\u00a0 This modified Iron Cross was a feat of strength that belied his childish appearance and lifted him horizontally in the air, with his other leg free to kick anyone who tried to bring him into the school.<\/p>\n

As Andrew\u2019s daily entrance reached the apex of hysteria, the office staff would have come to the rescue and the school psychologist would have been called.\u00a0 Together we would grab hold of Andrew and ask his uncle to leave.\u00a0 Within minutes, Andrew would be calmed down enough to at least go and sit with the psychologist in her office.\u00a0 Sometime later, she would walk him to his class where he would slip into a child-sized chair behind a child-sized desk and try to find some normalcy in a life filled with adult-sized issues.<\/p>\n

Everything had been taken from him, and his aging uncle didn\u2019t have the resources or capacity to give back any of the basics that a child in his position needed to survive.\u00a0 Andrew\u2019s life was devoid of any structures to provide him with a sense of security and safety, and he reacted like a trapped dog in an animal shelter who had lost all trust in humanity.\u00a0 He desperately wanted to be loved, but had decided that growling and barking was a safer alternative for basic survival.<\/p>\n

The decision to become Andrew\u2019s guardian had just been made and a quick court date was only three weeks in the future, but by California law he had to be living in my house before they would transfer custody.\u00a0\u00a0 Suddenly it hit me that in just one week Andrew would be moving in and I would be come a dad.\u00a0\u00a0 With Andrew\u2019s morning ritual ringing in my ears, I knew that I needed to figure out a way to get Andrew to school.\u00a0 His uncles had tried scaring him with religion, beating him with hands and sticks, and even having him hold books over his head for hours while he kneeled on the bare hardwood floors.\u00a0 These brutal acts of parental desperation only increased Andrew\u2019s defiance.\u00a0 This was going to be my first act as a parent, and I decided to try some basic teaching 101 and create an incentive to get him to school on time.<\/p>\n

I explained to Andrew that he would be coming home with me in exactly one week and that we would stop by Borders Books on our way to my house.\u00a0 I laid out a plan that would allow Andrew to buy some books of his own.\u00a0 His eyes lit up, and I explained that if he came to school on time and without putting up a fight on Monday he would earn one book.\u00a0 If he arrived Tuesday on time, he would earn another and so on until Friday, with a grand total of a possible five new books.\u00a0 He said he\u2019d take the challenge, and I left for the weekend.<\/p>\n

The truth be told, I forgot I had made the arrangement with Andrew and when I got to work Monday morning the secretary told me I had a visitor waiting in my office.\u00a0 When I got there, I found Andrew sitting with his uncle.\u00a0\u00a0 I had arrived at 7:30 a.m. and school didn\u2019t start until 8 a.m., but they had been there since 7:15.\u00a0 The uncle explained that Andrew woke him up and forced him out of bed.\u00a0 Today\u2019s fight had been to get the uncle going, not Andrew.\u00a0 Andrew continued to arrive everyday before 7:30 a.m. and had even walked himself to school one day when he couldn\u2019t get the uncle out of bed.\u00a0 Even as unsafe as a lone walk in the \u201chood\u201d could be, this was a clear win.<\/p>\n

I was proud of Andrew and his accomplishment, but I was also naively feeling a sense of pride that bordered on smugness for the part I played.\u00a0 After years of analyzing other parents\u2019 inability to get their kids to behave, I just turned a daily problem for Andrew and the school around in less than a week.<\/p>\n

Andrew would soon wipe the smug smile off my face.<\/p>\n

Friday arrived and Andrew was excited to get going and visit the bookstore.\u00a0 I was suddenly nervous.\u00a0 There was no turning back on my decision.\u00a0 When we walked out that door, I would be a dad.<\/p>\n

It started to rain as Andrew buckled himself into the backseat of my car.\u00a0 Real winter weather is a rarity in Los Angeles and it was a welcome backdrop for my fantasy of playing dad.\u00a0\u00a0 I still had visions of a grateful kid eager to lean on my every word as we sat by the fire and I read stories to him.<\/p>\n

We pulled out onto Santa Monica Blvd and Andrew reached forward and grabbed my phone.\u00a0 Within seconds he was moving in and out of programs looking for games and manhandling it as if it were a tinker toy.<\/p>\n

\u201cAndrew, you can\u2019t just grab my telephone like that.\u00a0 Please give it to me,\u201d I said, as I reached back with an open palm.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 I just want to see if you have\u2026\u201d he rambled on barely intelligible and oblivious to my petitions.<\/p>\n

\u201cAndrew,\u201d I insisted again, while reaching back with open palm, \u201c my phone is a work tool and not a toy.\u00a0 Please give it to me right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Andrew seemed to barely recognize that there was another human being in the car and continued, \u201cNo, just one second, I need to\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Suddenly teacher instinct took over, \u201cAndrew, if you don\u2019t hand it to me right now you will loose one of the books you earned.\u201d<\/p>\n

He continued to play and mumbling something about his need to continue.\u00a0 This was harder than I thought, but I calmly asked, \u201cAll right, you\u2019ve lost one book.\u00a0 You need to give it to me right now or you will lose a second one.\u201d<\/p>\n

Through the rearview mirror I saw the hesitation and then resignation.\u00a0 He handed me the phone.\u00a0 He sat silently as we drove on in traffic and then asked, \u201cSo\u2026 am I getting five books or four?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are getting four books,\u201d I stated with as little emotion as possible.<\/p>\n

Suddenly he burst into a fury of emotion, \u201cTHAT\u2019S NOT FAIR!\u201d he screamed. \u201cI knew you didn\u2019t want to buy me five books.\u00a0 You did that on purpose!\u00a0 You set me up!\u00a0 You knew I wouldn\u2019t give the phone back and did it to just take away books!\u201d<\/p>\n

This was crazy.\u00a0 Somehow he was able to understand that his own behavior was predictable and believe that I could be devious enough to mastermind a plan to save money.\u00a0 He was also able to pinpoint my own anxiety about money and the costs of raising a kid.\u00a0 I was feeling anxious, but somehow remained calm.\u00a0 I explained as clearly as I could what had happened and how his own actions were at the root of his loss.<\/p>\n

Andrew\u2019s entire demeanor suddenly turned from angry to sweet as can be.<\/p>\n

\u201cI promise.\u00a0 I will never, ever do this again.\u00a0 I promise.\u00a0 Really, I promise,\u201d he cooed as kind and apologetic as I\u2019d ever heard him.\u00a0 His Oscar-worthy performance brought every trauma he had ever been through to mind and it began to haunt me —\u00a0 poverty, mother who had died, uncles who beat him —\u00a0\u00a0 I could see and hear the sincerity in every plea for leniency.\u00a0\u00a0 Perhaps I should trust him.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, Dr. Laura was in my head.\u00a0\u00a0 I don\u2019t really like Dr. Laura, but enough long drives to Utah with only her to accompany me on the A.M. radio had left an impression.\u00a0 This giving in to children\u2019s pleas even after the law had been laid down was a bad idea.\u00a0 I knew what I had to do.<\/p>\n

I mustered every bit of emotional strength I had and calm as a morning lake and sweet as a basket of warm cookies, I said, \u201cThat\u2019s wonderful.\u00a0 I\u2019m so glad that you are never going to do that again.\u00a0 I\u2019m proud of you for making that decision.\u00a0 Now you will never lose another book this way.\u201d<\/p>\n

And then the kid I knew from the satanical rituals he had performed with his uncle every morning for the last few months was sitting in the back of my car.\u00a0 I swear his head did a 360 on his neck and he started spewing out angry and hateful words that were mean and utterly disrespectful.<\/p>\n

To this day I don\u2019t know how I did it.\u00a0 Perhaps it was because it was only my first night with him and I hadn\u2019t come to know the utter exhaustion that would soon be my constant companion, but I was as calm as could be when I simply stated, \u201cAndrew, you will never speak to me that way again.\u00a0 In our house we will speak to each other with kindness and respect.\u00a0 If you can\u2019t speak to me that way, you will not get one book and we will go straight home.\u00a0 You can be angry, but you cannot be disrespectful.\u00a0 Let me know when you\u2019re ready to speak with kindness and respect.\u201d<\/p>\n

Andrew didn\u2019t say a word and he didn\u2019t speak for a long time.\u00a0 So long that we had slowly wound our way through the traffic to get near the book store.<\/p>\n

\u201cAndrew, we are almost there.\u00a0 Are you ready to speak to me with kindness and respect?\u201d I asked testing the waters.<\/p>\n

All he said was, \u201cI\u2019m thinking.\u201d<\/p>\n

I decided that was a good place for him to be, and we continued to drive in silence until I knew I had to turn into the store or go home.\u00a0 I told him it was decision time and asked him if he was ready to treat me with respect.<\/p>\n

This time he calmly just said, \u201cyes.\u201d\u00a0 I just said, \u201cI\u2019m glad.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go get some books.\u201d<\/p>\n

I can still remember that first day with Andrew in the bookstore.\u00a0 He ran from shelf to shelf and pulled out at least a hundred books. \u00a0He was like\u2026\u00a0 well, like a kid in a candy store.\u00a0 Only better.\u00a0\u00a0 Much better.\u00a0\u00a0 He eventually chose his books and he never asked for a fifth.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t offer it.<\/p>\n

We left and he sat in the back of the car like a Czar among his treasures.\u00a0 All anger gone, he beamed with happiness.\u00a0 I had set my first boundaries and he had done what kids do everywhere; he tested them.\u00a0\u00a0 Andrew must have felt the first inklings of safety that comes from finding out the walls a parent sets for you are secure.<\/p>\n

Later that night I found out what it feels like when you get it right as a parent.\u00a0 We actually did end up sitting next to a fire while I read to him from his new books.\u00a0\u00a0 At one point, he stopped me and quietly said, \u201cMr. Wilson, thank you for the books.\u00a0 I\u2019m really sorry I treated you with disrespect. You didn\u2019t deserve it.\u201d<\/p>\n

He was right. \u00a0I didn’t deserve it. \u00a0But I have come to understand that it’s my job to accept the childish abuse for what it is and through the alchemy of parental love and patience transform it into a safe and secure stepping stone across the wide river we call growing up. Now when I see the young man he is becoming, and even though I may not deserve it, I can’t be more grateful for being the lucky one he feels safe enough to call Dad.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n\t\"\"<\/a>\n\t

Nothing says "Good Morning" like hot buttermilk biscuits and gravy<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Grandma\u2019s Buttermilk Biscuits and Gravy<\/p>\n

My own memories of biscuits and gravy are deeply tied to my childhood.\u00a0\u00a0 My grandmother was a farmhand cook for many years, first in Iowa on the family farm an then in Nevada as a hired cook.\u00a0 She would tell stories of a daily breakfast with astonishing amounts of food to be served.\u00a0 They would get up before 3 a.m. to light the wood-burning ovens and have biscuits, bacon, eggs, ham, potatoes, pancakes, and coffee all ready before the men started working at 5 a.m.\u00a0\u00a0 Grandma would serve her biscuits with what she called chicken gravy.\u00a0 This is a white-roux-based gravy cooked in bacon fat or the fat left over from the addition of sausage, but was traditionally made from the left-over fat of a roasted chicken.<\/p>\n

This was Andrew\u2019s first breakfast at the house and has remained his first choice for Sunday morning to this day.\u00a0 I suppose if we lived on a farm and got up and worked the land I would serve this much more than I do, but since the only land Andrew has ever worked are battle fields in cyberspace, it remains a special treat for rainy winter weekends.<\/p>\n

Biscuit dough makes a great topping to transform a stew into a spectacular homey meal.\u00a0 Just roll out the dough and 20 to 25 minutes before you are ready to serve the stew, fit the dough on top of the stew to cover completely.\u00a0 Whenever I make a batch of Bea\u2019s Thick Chicken and Rice Soup (See My Son The Zombie Killer, March 2007), I add some fresh sage and thyme to the dough and turn day two\u2019s left over\u2019s into an instant chicken potpie.<\/p>\n

Biscuits<\/strong><\/p>\n

2 cups flour (self rising makes this a snap: see note)<\/p>\n

2 teaspoons baking powder<\/p>\n

1 teaspoon salt<\/p>\n

1 \u2013 3 teaspoons sugar (if served with just butter and jam you can increase the sugar)<\/p>\n

Scant \u00bd \u00a0cup fat (see note)<\/p>\n

\u00be cup buttermilk<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Heat oven to 425 degrees.<\/li>\n
  2. Stir or sift together flour, baking powder, salt and any herbs, if using.<\/li>\n
  3. Using a pastry scraper, or even two knives, cut in the fat until the flour starts to feel a bit crumbly.\u00a0 Don\u2019t over incorporate the fat as some little pieces left in tact will create a fluffier biscuit.<\/li>\n
  4. Stir in the buttermilk until it forms a ball.\u00a0 The dough may be a bit wet and you can add a little more flour if needed, but remember that you will be adding flour in the rolling-out stage.\u00a0 Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and let it rest in the refrigerator for 30 minutes or longer.\u00a0 It can be made the night before and have it ready to go in the morning\n

  5. Roll out the dough on a floured work surface using a nicely floured rolling pin into a rectangle about a \u00bd to \u00be inch thick. Fold in thirds and roll again. \u00a0Repeat once more.\n
  6. Using a biscuit cutter or the mouth of a water glass, cut out as many biscuits as you can and then reroll the dough cut more.\u00a0 Continue until dough is gone.\u00a0 This should yield about 16 biscuits.\n

    \n\t\"\"<\/a>\n\t

    Yields about 15 or 16 biscuits<\/p>\n<\/div><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Note on flour:\u00a0 I like to use a Southern self-rising brand called WhiteLily when I can find it.\u00a0 I don\u2019t really know if the Southern connection makes a difference, but self-rising flour makes biscuits a breeze.\u00a0 If using, eliminate the baking powder and salt.<\/p>\n

    Note on fat:\u00a0 I use lard and this, hands down, makes the best biscuits.\u00a0 Crisco shortening is my second choice.\u00a0 However, you can use any solid fat you have on hand.\u00a0 Duck fat makes a great savory biscuit with the addition of some fresh herbs like rosemary, thyme, or sage.<\/p>\n

    Bacon or Sausage Gravy<\/strong><\/p>\n

    There was a time when Andrew wanted sausage gravy, but now opts for bacon.\u00a0 Both are great and require an extra half hour at the gym!<\/p>\n

    1 onion, diced small<\/p>\n

    4 to 6 pieces bacon or \u00bd pound breakfast sausage<\/p>\n

    About 2 cups milk, plus \u00bc cup more for roux<\/p>\n

    \u00bc cup flour<\/p>\n

    Salt and pepper to taste<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Fry up the bacon or sausage in a large fry pan with high sides.\u00a0\u00a0 When cooked remove the meat and when cool enough to handle, crumble and set aside.<\/li>\n
    2. Pour out all but 3 or 4 tablespoons of fat, add onion and saut\u00e9 over medium heat until translucent and starting to caramelize.<\/li>\n
    3. Make a wet roux by mixing \u00bc cup milk with \u00bc cup flour and mix until smooth.\u00a0 Add roux to the onions and using a whisk, stir until smooth.\u00a0 Let roux cook with onions for a couple of minutes.<\/li>\n
    4. Slowly add milk to the mixture and cook until thick.\u00a0 If too thick, add more milk until you get the consistency you desire.\u00a0 This is not a science, but done by taste and feel.<\/li>\n
    5. Add crumbled meat and finish with salt and pepper to taste (we use a lot of pepper).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      That\u2019s it.<\/p>\n

      Provecho!<\/p>\n

       <\/p>\n

       <\/p>\n

       <\/p>\n

       <\/p>\n

       <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      If he has a conscience he will suffer for his mistake. That will be punishment – as well as the prison. Fyodor dostoevsky Buttermilk biscuits hot out of the oven! The screams would usually start long after school had begun.\u00a0 These were not garden-variety screams, the kind you might expect to hear from the would-be […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-832","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-recipes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/832","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=832"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/832\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":852,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/832\/revisions\/852"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=832"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=832"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feedingandrew.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=832"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}